Didn't have to use my AK

( He's pretty cute in the younger days, isn't he? Other crushes have included a young Jerry Lewis and an old Al Pacino... so this new one doesn't surprise me. I'm on a real Hackman kick. He might be one of the greatest actors of all time. )


















Today is a good day.
It’s been raining since I went to bed last night…
And I don’t even have the inkling to cry.
I sort of feel at peace.
It’s cool.
Last night I did NOTHING! But watch movies.
It was amazing.
Who knew?!
I also didn’t have any alcohol.
I’m getting a lot better at that.
I think I’m over that whole drinking every night thing.
I’m doing a lot better.

On a side note:
The art of making films might be dead.
I have been watching a lot of 70’s film.
I’ve noticed recently that many of these great old flicks have very little dialogue.
These older films spend a lot more time on setting up the scene and letting the audience live with the film’s characters in their silences instead of killing us with edits and plot twists....
(aka: "Domino" is the worst movie ever made)

Last night I watched Vertigo and The French Connection.
Awesome.
I want to make a film like The Conversation some day.
I want to make a film like Serpico some day.
I want to make a film like Bad Lands some day.

Also, Gene Hackman... sort of attractive in his 30’s.
I found myself gaining a crush on him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Lately I’ve been auditioning a lot.
I’ve gotten really good at it.
I've come a long way since I was 21.
In particular when I need to improvise...
Which these days, I feel like every commercial audition is an improv.
They don’t actually write copy anymore,
they just supply an idea that you then riff on and if hired,
you get no writing credit,
nor do you get paid more for all the original ideas you brought to their final product.

I had four auditions last week.
I felt great about all of them.
Unfortunately, I didn’t even get a call back for one.
I don’t feel bad about it because I know that’s the business...
And for one of them I just knew they were gonna go with a guy.
It would be nice though, to start making some headway.
My goal is to be SAG by the time I move to LA.
I’m half-way there.
But it looks dismal.

I’m a great actor.
I work hard at my craft.
I'm fun.
I'm in the best shape of my life
and seriously people, I can be real cute when I wanna be.
I wouldn’t say I’m cocky, but I know how to bring it in the audition.
I’m past all that “I’m not good enough” self doubt BS.
Seriously.
I’m ready for it.
I’m waiting for it.
Bring it on already.