Now that the earthquake is over, the after shocks are happening

(photobooth on my Apple is my new fave toy. me and Bird-o)


My friend Bird-o from college was in town for 10 days.
I was in LA for the first weekend he was here so I didn’t get to see him until Wednesday because of rehearsals etc.
I miss him.
He has all the gossip on the gang back in Boston.
When out to lunch, he looked at me over his glasses…
“Speaking of breakups… How’re you doing?”
He doesn’t mean to give me that “You poor thing” look, but it’s just what happens to people’s faces when they are checking in.
Irish did it too.
Imagine this in a thick Irish accent; “How’re ya doin’ wit it?”
Even though I say I am fine, Irish can’t stop making that face at me. “You poor thing”.
I feel five.

While Bird-o was in town making time with him was hard.
I am finally getting a spoon full of the after math.

Bird-o: I can’t have dinner with you on Friday.
Me: Why not?!
Bird–o: I realized that’s the night we’re going out for steaks.
Me: Cancel with her. (My old roommate, who was one of my best friends from college and his new wife. I’m not invited to things they do. Now that I’m not together with Mr. 9, it’s a lot easier to just invite Mr. 9 and not me. That’s a lot better for everyone… ‘cept me.)
Bird–o: I can’t, I promised.

Me: Well, what about Saturday night?
Bird-o: I can’t, we’re all (meaning all my friends in Chicago) going out to dinner.
Me: WE? Can I come?
Bird-o: You can… but I don’t think you want to.
(AKA, Mr. 9’s gonna be there. All my college friends will be there, but I won’t.)

Bird-o: I want you to know, I pick no sides.
I always loved you both as separate people and that won’t change.

(Yeah, but now when people come to visit, they have to pick where to go. Awesome.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

On a sidebar….
I learned her name this weekend.
I knew that Mr. 9 was dating someone else.
No one had told me this, I just knew it.
He’s an awesome guy.
He was staying at some girl’s house when he broke up with me.
It’s not hard to put 2 and 2 together.
That being said, it still felt like drinking bile when I heard her name.
I think Bastard knew she was walking into a trap, but she’s my friend.
Thank god for her.

Bastard: Yeah, I think her name is Maria. Brian has hung out with them before. I’ve never met her though. She’s a friend of Nathan and Stephanie’s.
(Fuck them for introducing them… seriously, it’s not their fault, I don’t mean that… fuck them.)
Me: Maria huh…. What’s her last name?
Bastard: I don’t know.

Blondie: Well, that's gonna sting no matter if you find out today or two years from now. It’s never easy to hear your ex is dating someone else.
Me: I’m cool. (I’m not that cool. I hate her.)

Me: I had the thought on the drive out to LA that I might want to call Mr. 9 to have drinks or something. To start the cleanup. That was a very fleeting thought.
Blondie: Do you think you might actually want to get back together with him?
Me: No. You can forgive your rapist, but you don’t want to be naked in a room with him again.

Her name is Maria. I wonder when they met. Some time when he was hanging out with Nathan and Stephanie. Was I there too? I wonder when Mr. 9 started liking her. 6 months ago? 4 months ago? Right before he broke up with me? Was he fucking me wishing it was her? Was he not fucking me cause he was wishing he could be fucking her?

Blondie: You know, it might end badly. Just cause they’re dating doesn’t mean anything. It’s gotta end some time.
Me: I hope she gives him a venereal disease.

I’m fine with it.
Not really.
No, I’m cool.