Montana, I want to eat you and die full

(I went up to a rock to meditate on a rainy day when I just couldn't stop crying. From my perch where birds kept flying up to sit with me, I could see the rest of the crew coming out to hike. Can you see them?)



(At the baseball game we saw three shows; the game, the fireworks after, and the sky... isn't it amazing?!)




(Snakes and The Jungle hiking to the top of the world)




(One of the cows on the ranch. This one is a bull. They had just come out of mating season. They would whine very gutterally for the cows they were having sex with just a week ago. All the male bulls were in a pen together and they kept trying to hump each other for relief.)



(This is the third year in a row we have found ourselves in this small Midwestern town to eat dinner. I don't know the name of it, but I thought this cowboy on a bike was just about the most awesome thing ever.)



(When we hike Gultch wears his gun just in case we meet mountain lions. He also wears it to celebrate gay pride!)



(The main house on the ranch... there are three to choose from when you sleep. This place is a zen castle)



We left for Montana on Friday night and got to Gultch’s ranch at about 8:00pm Saturday night.
It is my third time doing this drive from Chicago to Montana.
I love it.
I never get sick of the Midwest.
It’s beautiful.
Last year we went a little later and the highway was lined with miles and miles of sunflowers.
This year the fields were plush and green from rain.
I think it is very romantic to stare out the window and dream about the people in the houses you see along the highway.
All alone in the middle of Nowhere’sville.
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Kid Dynamo – It’s real hard when so much stuff changes all at once in your life. You have a million emotions all the time. It’s hard to sift through them.
Me – Can I have a hug?
Kid Dynamo – Boy, you’re in a bad way.

And I was sometimes.
And sometimes I was on cloud nine.
Even just on the drive out.
One hour I was all giggles and smiles and love for the adventure ahead.
And the next hour would bring all droopy poetry in the notebook I brought and lots of metaphors about fences and radio towers. ug.
Seriously.
I need to get it together.
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The ranch is the most beautiful place on Earth.
Gultch’s father and late mother built their dream house there.
The house is half way up a mountain and is nothing but windows.
When you are inside all you see is the mountains hugging you and elk grazing in the valley and cows, cows, cows.
It’s a dream come true.
We hiked, we swam in the pond where a beaver lives, we smoked grass and shot be-be guns, we ate pie all day straight from the tin, and napped whenever we were tired.
I blossom in that place.
I feel full.
The ranch is zen.

But one day it rained... and out came Crazy Sad Lady.
I don’t know where I hide her, but it’s scary when she shows up.
She loves to be completely miserable and drink alcohol… a lot.
I swear I don’t know her, she just uses my body whenever the sun goes away.
And as soon as the sun comes back out, suddenly I'm fine.

Me - Can I just hang in this half of the body?
Crazy Sad Lady - NO! I have to take over the whole thing. I'll give her back to you during the hangover.
Me - Bitch.
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This year was a little different at the ranch as Gultch has moved to LA since our last trip.
So for this journey, he brought out his new improv team from iO West.
I was totally prepared to hate them in every way.
Gultch replaced us with them.
They are from LA.
They are not snakes.
All perfectly good reasons to beat them with bare knuckled fists.

Unfortunately I fell in love.
They were all amazing.
I laughed, a lot.
6 of them, 6 of us and Gultch.
That was 13.
And what a crew.
On the fourth of July we all went into the town of Great Falls.
We went to a minor league baseball game and got DRUNK on $1 beers with Tabasco sauce in them and sang American themed songs at the top of our lungs and booed the opposing team and watched fireworks.
Then later we went to a local bar and rode a mechanical bull.
Oh God, these people make me happy.
Snakes and Jungle mixing it up.
I fell in love with Annie Get Your Gun and secretly want her to be my best friend.

In a half joking voice, Anne Get Your Gun asked if I wanted to ride back with the Jungle to LA instead of going home to Chicago right away.
I immediately agreed and the pact had been made.
I could stay at her house.
I would perform with The Jungle on Sunday night and then go home just in time to make it to work on Monday morning.

I did the drive from Montana to LA for the first time.
It was beautiful.
I got to see the mountains.
I got to see Vegas.
I got to see LA!

My weekend in LA was also amazing.
I stayed with AGYG who basically is an angel in the body of the funnest girl ever.
I did three shows at iO in three days.
All were super fun.
I rode bikes on Venice beach and went to the Getty museum and got to hangout with Sydwynder (love you) and even bonded with his girlfriend.
I met loads of new people through AGYG and got a free meal through one of them at a very fancy steak house.
I didn’t want to leave.

I had to.
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Montana 2006: In search of zen.
There are so many people in this world.
If you open your heart to the unknown, the good ones will find you.
I feel so lucky.
Thank you all so much.
Let’s get the Jungle to Chicago soon to come taste what the Snakes brew.

(Okay, I’ll admit it… LA doesn’t suck that bad.)