I sometimes feel like I am in a chick lit paperback

The Wolf – He broke up with me… I think.
Nice and Easy – You think?
TD – Amazing.

The Wolf – Yeah. We were “talking” in the street. I was crying.
Me – Uh huh, It gets easier the more you do it.

The Wolf – And he said he didn’t really have time for me in his life. I told him he could call me when he figured out what he wanted and I haven’t heard from him since. This was last week.
Me – I hate him.

Nice and Easy – Well, mine said he was gonna come stay with me for four days. He had something in the Midwest. He came to Chicago first, I drove him out to Wisconsin, I met his family. He was gonna come back to Chicago after his engagement to stay with me for four days. I got a call a day before he was supposed to show up. He just “didn’t want to do it”. I mean doesn’t this kid WANT to have sex? My God!
TD – Boring! That guy is terrible.
Me – I hate him.

Me – Being with Mr. 9 was really easy. Man, I thought I had love figured out. You didn’t have to worry about all that stuff. We never fought or played games with each other. I didn’t have to guess. It was awesome.
The Wolf – Yeah, but now you can experience the excitement of the first kiss again.
TD – Boring!
Nice and Easy – I don’t want first kisses anymore. I want 5ths. I would kill for a six month relationship that feels worn in and usual.

The Wolf – I want a guy who….
Nice and Easy – I want a guy who….
Me – I want a guy who…
TD – I just wanna bone!
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Yesterday was a hump.
I caught the melancholy bug from a boy and spent the whole day feeling bad and retrospective.
Then while playing dodgeball, I got pegged in the head so hard that I almost went down.
I didn't want to cry.
But some tears leaked out.
I had spent the whole day being poopy and moody and that was a nice capper.
Maybe the stars were tellinng me to snap out of it.
Things I discovered about myself yesterday while brooding and being "cancer"like.

I have diarrhea mouth about my feelings and I am hurt when others don’t too.
I fall in love with all my friends. Sometimes I want to be them.
Because I know I am going to die, I feel a stronger urge to hug people and tell them I love them.
I don’t mind being the victim because it means people are always hugging me and telling me that I can count on them.
I have judged women in the past for sleeping with a lot of guys.
I have judged men in the past for sleeping with a lot of women.
I am currently not going to do that anymore.
I have a gut reflex to give out advice when sometimes I should just be listening.
I have a desire to control my surroundings and relationships so that I can feel safe.
I have become obsessed with astrology
I hate being left out.
Sometimes I try too hard.
I am only as strong as I am and willing emotional health doesn’t make it happen, it takes time.
I drink to excess.
I don’t get enough sleep.
I have a love for girl time.