Iowa is fun... who knew?

The ladies waited in the lobby of the spa while I got my facial.






My aunt has 5 dogs... They are everywhere.









If there is any doubt as to what I will look like in 20 years... feast your eyes boys.








(Auntie shakes her bootie! yeah!)








Me and Bailey pose gangsta style.









I went to Iowa this weekend to visit my Auntie.
I love her.
She is 54, I am 28, we get along like bff.
When she visits in Chicago, we go to bars, she hangs out with all my friends and they smoke butts together, and we shoot it with ease.
She rules!
Mamma M was already in Chicago when I got there.
It was fun.
It was very relaxing.
I suntanned in Auntie’s back yard.
We got facials.
We drank a shit ton of wine.
I did yoga with Auntie in her basement.
I picked fresh veggies from my auntie’s garden and immediately ate them.
I finished a book and started a new one.
We played board games with the neighbors
and threw the ball around for my auntie’s five dogs.
It was pretty much just a relaxing Zen fest.

My Mom confessed that she was having a hard time relaxing during the massage part of the facial. (urg)
My Mom can’t relax.
I should be proud that she can even admit that.

My Mom yells at my Auntie constantly for doing things that she’s thinks are childish or annoying…
like singing in the bathroom at the grocery store,
shaking her booty in the parking lot,
or driving us around Moline not knowing where she’s going just cause she wanted to show us some sights. (urg)
I love how fun and spontaneous my Auntie is.
I tried not to yell back at my Mom not to yell at my Auntie… do we see a pattern?

My Mom’s way of getting yelling dogs to calm down is to bark back at them to shut up. (urg)
My Mom barks.
She means well.
I love her.
I hope she found Zen this weekend too.
I think she found a little.

This whole leaving every weekend is f-ing great.
In the beginning my apartment seemed so lonely,
But now I actually feel like it’s a place to come home to, cause I’m never there.
So good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Tips for getting over this whole dumped thing.

I am putting together a short list of things to do in case I ever get dumped again.
These things seem to be working.
I thought maybe someone else might find them helpful too someday.

#1/ Don’t see the fucker. Don’t call him. Just walk away and let yourself heal.

#2/ Keep telling yourself you are okay. One day you will wake up and believe it.

#3/ Get mad, get so fucking mad…. And then cry, cry, cry. Eventually # 2 will take effect.

#4/ If someone wants to buy you something (a beer, dinner, a plane ticket), give you a hug, lend you their anything, hang out with you, call you, kiss you... let them.

#5/ Talk about it openly when you need to and don’t feel bad about how you feel.

#6/ Allow yourself doubt.

#7/ If you want it, buy it.

#8/ Be so selfish all the time.

#9/ Drinking alcohol makes it feel better, so don’t feel bad about it now… you will stop when you need to.

#10/ Listen to all your old riot girl albums and sing them at the top of your lungs in your apartment while doing anything you want. (for boys, I think Metallica is the equivalent)

#11/ Go out of town as much as possible.