My body is not my own.

Me – Have you ever bled early for some reason?
MB – No. Are you bleeding?
Me – Uh huh.

MB– Is it spotty, or are you like hemorrhaging?
Me – Just spotty. I’m just not sure if this is my period. I’m more than a week early…I’m never early. It’s probably okay... right?

MB – I don’t know. That’s never happened to me. But once I was so stressed out that I didn’t have my period for three months.
Me – Oh my god, that can’t be good.

MB – You should see your doctor.
Me - It’s probably just my period right?
MB – You should see you doctor.

Me – Yeah. Do you think its stress?
MB –Well you’ve had some... wouldn’t you say?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R – Are they bad?
Me – Well it feels real terrible when I’m in it, but it’s gonna sound stupid when I tell you.

R – Just go.
Me - Last night I dreamt that I was at Mark’s wake and Mr. 9 and all his friends were there. I was throwing myself at his feet and grabbing onto his pants, sobbing like a widow for him to take me back. I could feel all his friends just staring at me with the most disgusting looks on their faces shaking their heads at how pathetic I was. And I just remember I couldn’t breathe really.

R – Is that what you want? Him back?
Me – No.

R – Okay.
Me - I think he still lives in my body though. Yesterday I just started crying at work again. It used to happen all the time, everyday. My face would just cry and cry and cry. Often suddenly and without warning. But I thought I was beyond that phase now. I wasn’t even sad really; I just think my body needed to do it. Like it’s trying to release his toxins from different pores and ducts.

R - Do you want to know what's at the end of the universe? Past the last star?
Me - Yes please.

R- You know when you're falling asleep and you have a half dream and then you shock yourself awake with a jolt.
Me - Like you're falling and just before you hit the ground you wake up?
R - Yup. that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Sun sign, Taurus
And Mr. 9’s sun sign, Libra
Are both ruled now by the same planet, Venus.
Venus is the planet of love.
Venus is also Libra’s true planet and only Taurus’ filler planet.

Taurus is actually and ultimately ruled by the very last planet Apollo.
Because Apollo has no pull on Earth yet this planet does not play on Taurus today.
But once Apollo comes into Earth’s line of sight, all Taurus’s in the world will finally be released from Venus’ influence and they will be able to come into their full potential.

(The same thing is occurring with Virgos who are currently ruled by Mercury but who will come into their own when Vulcan comes into sight.)

I have never felt so hopeful.