Fighters practice shrugging it off.

(This picture was taken when I had my wisdom teeth out... but imagine instead that I was in a tough fight where I got my jaw busted. Imagine the sound it made was "BLUGT!". Now imagine that I killed the guy that got in the first punch. I hooked him left and his nose went into his brain)

I want to be tough.
I want sex to come like netflix,
only when you want it and exactly what you signed up for.
And I want to be able to walk away, cold heart – warm body.
I know a lot of boys who do this easily.
I want to be a boy.

My boyfriend in high school used to beat at his punching bag without gloves to toughen his knuckles.
He said “Yeah, it bleeds at first, but then they callous over”

Just don’t sleep with anyone you care about and never let them spend the night.

My boyfriend in high school also used to buy wax blocks so that he could
“bite through it until my teeth meet”.
He said if anyone ever tried to mess with me I should bite a part of their body until my teeth met and he would get real excited when he said it.
He loved the sound a face made when it was punched.
He said it’s real embellished on tv and in movies, but the real sound is even more disgusting because it’s way more raw sounding.

I’ve only hit one person in my whole life.
I was in the 7th grade and I barely made contact before she ran home.
I hit her in the chest.
I feel real bad about that.
But I wish I didn’t.
I wish I was a fighter who wasn’t afraid to hear the sound a face makes when it’s punched.

But I’m not.
I’ve got to take off those gloves.
At first it bleeds.